vamessyvlogs

Notes:

This page was definitely formatted to be viewed on a computer- if you’re on a mobile it’s probably gonna look pretty funky #oopsies
I started writing these a few years ago in hopes of finding a better way to process big emotions (good & bad!)
- Mood range is pretty sporadic: anything from super fun & lighthearted to heavy & triggering
I get a lot out of writing these & wanted to share a few because they mean so much to me!
- Not all my poems make this page & some are only snippets b/c vulnerability is hard <3

enjoy! (maybe?)

soul stitches

...........................................................................

days keep slippin' by

in one blink of my eyes

but lately baby

i don't seem to mind

been workin' to be better

stitchin' up my soul

my heart beats smoother

yet i'm waiting for a shoe to fall

untitled

.................................................................................................

we’re all just pieces of stardust

mosaics of everyone we meet

atoms of a lucky recipe

& yet we all share one thing

a race against the reaper

one chance at a charming life

& i’m not sure what matters

should your journey look like mine?

we’re all doomed to be forgotten

just tiny ants in a sea of time

untitled

......................................................

slow walkin' mid street

barefoot on the black top

dusk melted to green

rain drops ain't slowin'

tired eyes so steady

dark hair in the breeze

she's dreams on repeat

singin' to lonely suns

spin dancin' for trees

untitled

......................................................

sun is shining

longest day of the year

trusting the universe

it'll be okay dear

living for the tuesdays

the happiness inbetween

finding peace

always out in the green

someday, someone,

i'll hold you near

slow life

.................................................................

careful steps midstream

nature roaring

quiet thoughts drifting

never felt so alone

never felt so like me

a slow life feels more worth living

slow walks on the coastal

valuing strength over social

curling up with books

keeping a small circle

not caring how life looks

a slow life feels more worth living

up to a lot but telling so little

growing to love in my present

finding peace in my acceptance

doing nothing

& everything's changing

a slow life feels more worth living

somehow, someway (snippet)

......................................................

i never used to like the cold

the harsh nip of a bitter wind

the creak inside my bones

but now i crave it's quiet grace

the chill kiss inside my lungs

the soft peace of a fresh snow

somehow, someway

the cold grounds me home

street signs

....................................................................................

moved across the country at twenty two

telling people i was looking for a better view

but really all i was hoping

they'd say montana looks good on you

but now i'm

homesick for a place i've out grown

a place i no longer call home

and i miss all my friends

but damn

i still can't answer my phone

and i'm doing more of the same

still chasing stars and late night driving

always watching the sun on its horizon

yup same old phone-still got verizon

and i

no longer know whats past twenty five

endless search of something

to make me feel alive

and i'm feeling lost

no direction, yeah

but it might be my fault

streets signs keep going missing

yeah it might be my fault

street signs keep going missing

untitled

......................................................

and she said

why so serious dear

live a little

let go of all that fear

bargained with fates (snippet)

......................................................

begged stars to align

bargained with fates

& then you walked in

sayin' sorry for the wait

untitled

......................................................

going to concerts alone

search of whom i don't know

dancing under starlight

romancing on my own

untitled

......................................................

energy buzzing in the air

charged in a single glance

lightning about to strike

someone's gonna get hurt

can't seem to break the gaze

real life movie scene

......................................................

starlit road cruisin'

warm summer breeze

salt in the air

never felt so free

aimless riding

just the girls & me

outrunning time

drinking in youth

fearless loving

snapshot immortality

a small forever

real life movie scene

mid may

................................................................

tension seepin' mid may

stuck ya in checkmate

is that all you have to say?

nothing ever changes

you've locked your own cage

waking up

& finding the same ol' day

selfish exchanges

standing in your own way

withering on the spot

rootin' in rot

living the same ol' day

wishful buds bleedin' mid may

jekyll & hyde

............................................................................

my twisted view of what was me & you

a split duality of the person i knew

despoiler disguised with virtue

the violator acting as victim

you're jekyll & hyde inside my mind

hate to wish you well deserved pain

guilt stricken for being okay

ashamed of our story

when i'm not to blame

caring from afar & never forgiving

i'm jekyll & hyde inside my mind

liars at heart (snippet)

....................................................................................

he was a ramblin' man at his core

convinced he wanted to settle down

does it count as lying to another

when it stems from lying to himself

she was a kind-hearted lady

convinced she'd been outlawed from loving

does it count as lying to another

when it stems from lying to herself

he said she was all he could want

she said he was too wild to love

does it count as lying to each other

when it stems from lying to themselves

what good can come from liars at heart

untitled

......................................................................

pain demands to be felt

& have its honoring

to find yourself in darkness

you have to start wandering

so ditch the novocaine

& walk into the gloom

yield to all the pain

the only way out is through

not who i was, not who i'm meant to be

but i'm on my way

& i like this version of she

tested & trialed, resilient & loving

walking out of the fog

the darkness is lifting

& there's no turning back

on the one way road called growing

untitled

......................................................

i've always found loving

to be a beautiful curse

to feel so deeply

only to be left lonely

it takes time to fade

& never goes quite away

untitled

......................................................

the further you wander

the closer you go

darling don't you know

all roads lead to home

darling don't you know

all roads bring you home

a debt thats owed (so we've been told)

............................................................................

a desk and a dollar clouding dreams

faultless puppets strung for high society

bettin' on demise & gamblin' our time

morality's disguise as she's passing by

black & white

............................................................................

life seems simple in black & white

hurt me & there's no going back

get too close & baby i'll bite

if you do it once, you'll do it twice

i hate thinking in black & white

untitled

...............................................................

it's about past midnight

cold enough to see your breath

we're dancing in the headlights

talking about life after death

for just one moment

life doesn't feel like such a mess

it's about past midnight

& the nights like these

i'm at my best

untitled (snippet)

..............................................................

took a wrong turn

lost myself in grey

found a map

but it was too late

truth is heavy when its weighed

not a day of mourning (snippet)

...................................................................

make me the villain

for telling the truth

an ice cold heart

tying the noose

called the trial

sentenced the death

but the jury has spoken

takes two for a mess

you can be the hero

wearing your mask

pulling the trigger

killing us fast

nerves firing

body warm

barely in the ground

not a day of mourning

& you're fucking around

not a day of mourning

& i'm glad i skipped town

smoke, fire

................................................................

young, curious

the light in her eyes still gleamed

wild, unafraid

living in her own world

free, innocent

yet to be licked by flame

reckless, naïve

she walked straight into fire

staggered, alone

narrow escape from the smoke

wounded, broken

some burns never heal the same

rugged, stubborn

stronger than ever conceived

wistful, forlorn

blind bravery lost to wind

hard to save (snippet)

............................................................................

found myself a guy with greenish eyes

never felt such comfort in a patient smile

nature is his savior, the outdoorsman life

not a thing in the world he can't do

done the minute he puts his mind to

jam bands & the dead in his heart

a southern boy & his goofy charm

lost himself a brown eyed girl

kind eyes hiding a bright mind

a few years his younger

a contagious smile

born to be in nature

desperate to be alive

a northeast lady & lover of life

untitled

............................................................................

i'll wait a lifetime to find you

stars take their time aligning

untitled

.............................................................................

baby it only thunders when it rains

driving for hours just to feel safe

need of a place to escape my own brain

when did life become such a god damn race

untitled

..................................................................................

i'm afraid that this is how it's always been

i'm afraid this is how it will always be

when will i stop existing in my head

when will i remember how to just be

untitled

..................................................................................

care free & a little bit reckless

no seatbelt nor destination

and i know there's no turnin' back

on the one way road called growin'

untitled

......................................................

taking step by step

with wind in my hair

& dirt on my toes

flowers are blooming

bird chirps in my ear

feeling so aligned

i am in nature

nature is in me

sparks

......................................................

dangerous to the touch

seen that look before

strangers so familiar

you've known me

& i've known you

doomed to meet the wildfire

who am i, who are you

to let this wildflower bloom

snowberry lane

............................................................................

no contact

we called it a clean break

hometown visit & a goodbye exchange

when did it turn into a late night drive

three hours pass by in the blink of an eye

endless conversation

a flow like old times

no streets left untouched

no destination in mind

all drawn to an end

with a turn off of main

my car now parked

on snowberry lane

between lines of silence

we both knew

a reality outside

impossible to ignore

a hand hesitation

paused at the door

you looked at me and said

why don't we just drive some more

in the grey

......................................................................................

craving a partner & feeling best alone

breathing the sunshine & yearning for thunder

believing in something & questioning religion

working a desk & living to be outside

loving you & knowing i deserve better

maybe i'm in the grey

baby i'm in the grey

taming my ego & trusting my gut

married parents with never a sign of love

dreaming realities & grasping at the present

holding on while trying to let go

missing a hometown we know i've outgrown

maybe i'm in the grey

baby i'm in the grey

the invisible pedestal they put me on

a hopeful future without any plans

fantasize a person i'll never be

having good & feeling undeserving

lonelier together than now that we're apart

maybe i'm in the grey

baby i'm in the grey

untitled

......................................................

bad dance moves

full sends

a curiosity never quenched

slow dancing in the headlights

scared of nothing but love

she's like the sun

the light

the energy in a room

that invisible pull

effortlessly drawing you in

oh me, oh my

......................................................

ramblin' ramblin' sad girl

oh me, oh my

woe is me

tough luck honey

that's just how life'll be

you're either in for the ride

or payin' the final fee

oh me, oh my

live free or die tryin'